"Do you have any questions about the medication or any of its possible side-effects?" asked the pharmacist.
"No. Thank you. Its actually for my grandfather." I respond and I take the packaging in my hand, pay for it, and leave the store.
I walked to my car and before putting the vehicle in drive I glance over at the packaging and see the name of the medecine. My grandfather got a prescription for viagra? I didn't know those two old farts were still doing the horizontal hokey-pokey. Anyhow, I drive all the way to my grandparents house and park the car. I go up the stairs and into the kitchen where my grandpa was anxiously waiting for me. Without saying a word he rips his pills out of the little paper bag and stuffs them in a sock drawer. Gosh, I think to myself. What some people will do for a good time.
I eat some food and talk to my grandfather for a little while. I realize that the papers that came with the medicine are still on the table and with my curiousity I open them up and start to read.
I'm not going to go through the whole thing but the thing that made me kinda scared for my dear old grandpa was the long ass list of possible side effects that this little blue pill has.
You might get a headache, a flush face, an upset stomach, you might get a little dizzy, have nasal congestion, you might get a urinary tract infection, you might have vision problems such as not being able to tell the difference between blue and green, blurred vision, sensitivity to light or you might just lose your vision all together, you may get sudden bursts of diarrhea, an unexplained rash, you might develop a respiratory infection, mild to severe back pain (although this also may be due to the fucking), flu-like symtoms, you might develop mild to severe joint pains (also due to the intesity of your fucking), allergies (doesnt explain if its like allergies to bees...which is severe...or allergies to spring time pollen which is merely annoying), migrains (might just be do to the fact that some people want to talk during the fucking...but what do I know), fainting (you might pass out with a hard on?), heart failure (fuck the passing out part...your heart could stop!), vomiting, dry mouth (so probably smoking some weed before the pill is a no no), anemia, loss of hearing, arthritis pains, muscle pain, depresion, seizures (really? in plural?), anxiety (probably before the hard on sets in, i think), prolonged erection without pain, prolonged erection with pain, insomnia, asthma, and loss of bladder control. Wow, that was a mouth full (no pun intended grandma'!)
IN RARE CASES there might even be some sudden death, stroke, bleeding within the brain, bleeding within the lungs, loss of short term memory, and it doesn't even protect against any forms of STD's including HIV (AIDS).
What some people will try for a boner, huh? Seems like the doctors sat around and just added all these shitty side-effects to see what was the limit that a man would go to before he said "Fuck that....I'll just stay with my erectile dysfunction. They should have added anal leakage of funny liquids not related to shit, just for fun I think!!
God Bless My Grandparents!!
P.S. All of the side-effects are in fact the ones that I read and have not made any of em up.
Once again the stone cold winter is back in Boston. Even though every year is the same I can never fully quite understand why I feel so down during this time of year. I don’t think it’s the cold itself because Decembers are usually cold but all the Christmas activity keeps me out and about. I think the lack of sunlight mixed with the absense of fun outdoor activities is probably what depresses me the most! 
