Thursday, October 9, 2008

Mail In Rebates - How nice of you to SUCK!!!

I went to STAPLES today because the anti-virus for my computer is expiring in a couple of days (I know, I know, I should have bought an iMac but unfortunately I am not on the better side of this economic crisis). So I am at the store in the section of the computer programs (which happens to be right NEXT to the cash registers) and I am looking at the different boxes.
After standing there for about half my lunch hour finally a rude customer service rep. comes up to me and asks "What do you need?"

"Um.....some customer service I suppose." I reply in a sarcaastic tone.

"Aight!" she responds and WALKS AWAY!

"Great!" I think out loud before turning back to the boxes. After another eternity waiting by the cash register I asked the ONLY person at the front desk to send someone my way. She did.

The same exact fat girl (sorry to my obese fans but this girl deserves to be called something ugly like FAT!) comes to me and rudely explains the prices! After using some STAPLES lingo and words that seem to come out of a Star Trek dictionary she sends me on my way to the cash register with my new virus protection program in hand for what I thought was going to cost me 10$. Well, these assholes sure are rude but I'm getting a discount so F*CK IT, I think.

After waiting in the line for about another 15 minutes (while only one person rings up customers and three people stock a 4 shelf candy rack) I get up to the counter and (surprise surprise) the cash register tells me I owe 50 bucks. 50 BUCKS?!?!? I was told that it would be 10!!!

"Well," explains another fat girl (why are they all fat there.....exept the tech guy...he seems to be as skinny as the guys in Black Hawk Down) "if you read this fine print (she pulls out a magnifying glass and makes me look at what I thought was a dot on the package but was really a paragraph) it says that you will get a 20$ refund in the mail if you send in the proof of purchase with a copy of the reciept and a blood sample with a DNA record and a dental plaque amd your mother's mamogram results in the mail within 17 minutes of purchase. Also the store will give you another 20$ in rebates through the mail if you send in a paternal test of your child and you made on the Maury Povich show and another blood sample along with proof that you can legally work in the USA and were born on earth between now and a couple years ago but only in the year of the Rat on the chines calendar (luckily I was born in 1984 which is in fact the year of the Rat). Damn, mail-in rebates suck A LOT!

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